Vietnamese noodle salad

I had been an awful community gardener for the last year. I was negligent and left my little plot relatively untended for months. Michael, the man in charge of the garden, had called me twice in the last year to ask if I still wanted my plot, since it had been overgrown with weeds and showed obvious signs of my neglect. Each time, I would proclaim, "Oh, I'm so sorry! Yes, I still want it! I've been out of town! I've been busy! I'll take care of it right away!" And, of course I still wanted it. I waited almost two years for that piece of dirt the size of a queen mattress; it was prized property!

So, this summer, I needed to prove that I was a committed gardener. I planted twelve lettuce plants, three strawberry ones, one eggplant, six beets, and a handful of radishes. The eggplant is looking sad, and I should probably dig it up and put in something new in its place. The beets are showing signs of great promise. I was really excited by the progress of the radishes, but two days ago I found most of them gone, vanished, probably eaten by someone or something. (There were no signs of gophers and I highly doubt that a fellow gardener would dig them up, so I was really confused. Then, Michael told me that another gardener found homeless people sleeping in the garden's patio. Perhaps they were hungry for radishes?) I was disappointed about my radishes.

But, my lettuces have been doing great, a little too prolific really. But, seriously, what was I thinking? Why would I need so much lettuce? Twelve heads for one person? I had the same problem last year with too much lettuce, way too much for one girl to eat. Why didn't I learn? Why was I stupid again? I tried offering some to my fellow gardeners but they wouldn't take me up on it--they had their own lettuce abundance. So, I've been sticking lettuce wherever I can: stuffed in hummus sandwiches, giant salads as meals, small salads with meals. I'm getting tired of lettuce.

Then, I thought: Vietnamese noodle salad! It would be the perfect use for some of that lettuce, it's incredibly flavorful, and low on calories (I've also put on eight pounds since I started grad school and want to get rid of them again). I love eating this at restaurants and my mom would make it occasionally. And, it's super easy to make: you just toss all the veggies, rice noodles, and whatever protein you want with a spicy, tangy, salty sauce. The problem was the sauce; I had never known how to make it. My mom would ask me to make it sometimes, I would ask her how, and she would be like, "You know, just add some lemon, garlic, fish sauce, sugar, and water to taste." Then, after tasting it, she would make a face that said "Ew, gross! No way are you a daughter of mine!" and adjust the flavors. I don't know why I never thought to look up the recipe before. But, this time, I did, and it all turned out great.

And, you can do it too. Here goes:

For the nuoc cham (the Vietnamese dipping sauce) you'll need:
1 clove minced garlic
2 dried red chiles chopped fine
one generous squeeze of hot sauce (Sriracha from my hometown!)
2/3 cup water
1/4 cup fish sauce
juice of one lime
a little less than 1/4 cup sugar

Put all of those ingredients in a jar, put the lid on, and shake. Done. Easy.

As for the other parts, it's just as easy. Cook up some rice noodles. Chop some lettuce. Gather some crunchy vegetables (I used mung bean sprouts and a shredded carrot) and fresh herbs (I picked mint from the community garden and used some leftover cilantro). Cook up some shrimp (or whatever other protein) that were marinating in more lime juice, fish sauce, and garlic. Then, toss the noodles, lettuce, veggies, and herb in the sauce, and top with shrimp. Eat.

It is embarrassingly easy to make. And, when Scott's dinner date came by the house and was impressed with my dinner, how great it made the house smell, and how awesome it looked, I had to admit that it was stupidly simple but so delicious.