Heart attack in the wings

It has been years since I've been in Hayward. Back in my college days, I worked as a teaching assistant for a writing program for middle school students. I drove from Berkeley to Hayward five days a week for several weeks to help these young ones become budding (or at least better) writers. I don't remember much about those days or the time spent in that East Bay city.

Years later, I returned to Hayward for a conference about college financial aid. I wasn't really looking forward to being bored out of mind sitting through the most non-exciting presentation of material I already knew. But, I was looking forward to going to Val's. To me, that would be Hayward's saving grace.

I had read about Val's maybe three years ago in "I Like Eating." And, when I was on a hunt for the best burger in the Bay with Lenna, I remembered Val's. But, before we actually got in the car to make the drive across the Bridge and along the 880 South, I discovered that they are closed Mondays. I was heartbroken. So, when I found out that my coworkers and I would be heading to Cal State East Bay for this conference, I needed to convince them that they wanted to have lunch at Val's too.

I made the first mention on the drive there. I wasn't driving, so I had to sell it. "This is the best burger in all of the East Bay!" I proclaimed. Then, I told David, my officemate and who also likes food more than usual folk, who was also at the conference. He read Yelp reviews during the financial aid presentation. And, we were able to convince others that they wanted to eat there too, though I was nervous at the unwieldy size of the group and how long it took everyone to get moving. We only had 1 hour and 15 minutes for lunch. This was no time to dilly-dally, and I felt a little like a bitch for walking speedily ahead of everyone.

We piled into two cars. I didn't think far enough ahead to get direction, but David had his Blackberry with GPS and logged in Val's address. I was in David's car with Patrick driving, and the other car followed us. We headed down the hill, and, even with GPS, we weren't sure which was to go. David called Val's to get directions. The lady on the phone laughed at him. "Ha, I can't help you. Good luck finding us. We have really good burgers." Huh? He called again and she recognized his voice. "Haha! I can't direct you. But, our burgers are awesome!" We tried following the GPS though it made no sense. We made a U-turn, drove back up the hill, and turned left into a dead-end street.

This was no good. Disappointed, we decided we wouldn't be able to find it in time and drove back to the campus to eat there. David said that, after reading all those reviews about how fabulous Val's milkshakes are, he wanted to find Val's after the conference. I made sure to tell him that I wanted a ride back to San Francisco with him.

We found our way to the campus' food court, which consisted of a sandwich counter and a Panda Express. I don't know why, perhaps I was so distraught by not being able to eat at Val's that I opted for Panda Express. I don't think I've ever eaten at a Panda Express. I had no idea how to order or what to order, and had to watch three of my co-workers place theirs order before I knew what to do when I stepped up to the counter. I chose the fried noodles with kung pao chicken and eggplant with tofu. They looked like the best options.

I was terribly wrong. Everything was greasy, especially the tofu and eggplant, which were sponges of oil. I could only taste grease and salt. Halfway through my Styrofoam box of food, I decided I couldn't eat that anymore. Even if I did seem like a food snob in front of my coworkers who were readily eating this food that they normally would eat, I didn't care. I couldn't put this into my body. I threw used napkins into my box and put all my leftover food in the trash. I would rather be hungry than continue eating that. I think the food also gave me a headache, which I suffered as I sat through a presentation on student loans.

After the conference, we all caught back up with one another in the parking lot. I made my way over to David and told Kirk that I would be riding with him. We asked if anyone else wanted to come to Val's. There was hesitation. "We just ate." "I'm still full." "How long will it take?" "How will we get there?" The part of me that hates being in a group because it can sometimes take forever to come to a decision just wanted to leave and to tell them that they didn't have to join us at Val's, that they were free to do whatever they wanted, that they could go home right then. Though I think some of them thought the idea was ridiculous, they said that they would come too. I started to feel a little guilty; what if Val's sucked? The eight of us climbed into three cars and tried to find Val's, again.

This time, David was lead driver and I, as shot-gun passenger, was the director. After a little bit of a non-direct route through the residential areas of Hayward, we made it to Val's. I was excited! Finally, I was there and it was a cute as could be! It looked like something straight out of The Wonder Years.

We squeezed into a booth and ordered. I ordered just the Baby Burger with cheddar and tomatoes, but made sure to ask if I could have some David's milkshake and onion rings and Nancy's fries. David's and Nancy's milkshakes came out first. I had some of both, and they were creamy and thick, though not so thick that I couldn't get it up my straw. Patrick's and Kirk's root beer floats came out next. They were impressive. A huge scoop of vanilla ice cream topped with whipped cream and a cherry was balanced on the rim of a glass contained root beer. After a few photos, they both tried to figure out how to get the ice cream into the glass without making a mess. Both made a little bit of a mess.

Then, came the food. My Baby Burger was still very sizable. It was a touch pink in the middle, as I wanted it to be, and dripped of juice. It was a good burger, a classic diner burger with no frills or fanciness, but it wasn't the best burger I've ever had. David's onion rings, though, were great. They were crisp, not greasy, and the onion didn't pull out when bitten, leaving just a ring of batter. Nancy's steak fries were also very good with a nice crunch on the outside but with flaky, almost soft and creamy, potato inside. And, the waitress and everyone else inside were so kind. The waitress even called us kids.

After our second meal in three hours, we got back into the cars to drive back to San Francisco. As we were getting off the freeway, David and I were trying to figure out what to do in the hour and a half until our work social. It wasn't enough time to really go home and relax first, so we decided to go to happy hour at O Izakaya Lounge and invited others to join us.

I really like O Izakaya. First, it's basically across the street from the office, which couldn't be more convenient. Second, they have an awesome happy hour, with $3 beer, house sake, and well drinks (happy hour also used to be on Fridays, but they shifted the days to Sundays through Thursdays, not quite as fun). Third, the food is good (and, food also has happy hour prices).

After a Hefeweizen and two little cups of sake, I made my way over to the staff game night with my coworkers. I think I must have been a little drunk because, after telling myself that I was full and didn't need anymore food in me and was already disgusted with myself at how much junk I ate for one day, I had three small slices of pizza that was provided for the social. I played Apples to Apples continually contemplating if I wanted a fourth slice but fought against it.

It was my most unhealthy eating day in a long time: greasy Chinese, a burger, fries, onion rings, milkshake, beer, and pizza. I did, however, have a diet Coke.